Martian
04.05.07
MARSIPAN NEWSLETTER
MARSIPAN NEWSLETTER FRIDAY 4th MAY, 2007
****************************************


FLIGHT DIRECTOR'S WELCOME
*************************

Dear All,

You may have read a few months ago about the astronaut in Florida who drove hundreds of miles in a nappy just to assault her ex-boyfriend. Many of you have expressed concern that this sort of obsessive behaviour might be prevalent amongst astronauts. Some of you have even gone so far as to suggest that the desire to strap yourself into a small capsule on top of many tonnes of high explosives before lighting them to catapult you into isolation outside the atmosphere of the planet on which you live might be indicative of a slightly unbalanced state of mind.

Well, if wanting poo-free trousers is mad, then I'm mad too!

On a long journey a nappy is the perfect answers to any question which ends with 'faeces'. Is it mad or just sensible to make elaborate preparations for a cross-continental assault journey? Is it mad to want a lover back? Is it mad to send them poems written in your own blood?

Is it?

Is it mad to keep your loved one's dead skin cells in a jar? Is it mad to hit yourself in the face with a steam iron, repeatedly screaming the word 'Stupid!'? Is it mad to cry over 'Cash In The Attic'?

According to my psychiatrist, it is.

Yours,

Barnaby Bottomley


WHAT'S NEW?
***********

Excellent! It's a brand new pubcast.

What will Professor Colander be talking about today? There's only one way to find out.

Sort of.

http://www.marsipan.co.uk/index2.php?pubcast=1178024478


A WORD FROM OUR CORPORATE SPONSORS
**********************************

Given that half term is rapidly approaching, we here in the corporate section would like to offer you the following tips on keeping your children amused:

Buy them a Playstation 3.
Sticks from nearby woodland can be used to build a treehouse. If you really want your child playing with a toy which hasn't been subjected to strict quality and safety guidelines.
Send them to our new nursery where they will learn essential skills, like footwear manufacture, how to do really small stitches and how to make many of the toys they love so much.


ASK THE PROFESSOR
*****************

Dear Professor Colander,

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

Yours,

Reginald Spoot

Dear Reginald,

Those aren't birds, those are my wife!

Seriously, though, one of them may be my wife. After a horrific gardening accident almost twenty years ago, my poor wife, Gwladys, was turned into a crow.

When I say 'was turned into a crow' I should add 'by me' although I should also add 'in the interests of science.' And the experiment worked. Had it not, the technology behind Pop-Tarts could never have been developed.

Since then I carry birdseed wherever I go, in the hopes of enticing her back to our house, so that we can have sex again.

How do I feel about my wife being turned into a crow?

Raven mad.

Yours,

Professor Colander


FLIGHT DIRECTOR'S POEM OF THE WEEK (ISH)
****************************************

There once was a woman from Saturn
With a bum so large it could flatten
A car with its size,
A dog with her thighs
Or the whole of Northampton, the slattern!

(There. Told you I was over her.)





16.09.17 : beneborse

louis vuitton vendite La borsa donna Louis Vuitton dei tuoi sogni la puoi acquistare a prezzo di saldo su PrivateGriffe, modelli usati di seconda mano con garanzia di autenticità. borse louis vuitton L'abbigliamento e gli accessori di Louis Vuitton Donna in vendita online a prezzi scontati su PrivateGriffe fra le tante ... borse louis vuitton Borsa Palermo Louis vuitton Taglia Unica. borse louis vuitton Trova la nostra collezione di borse Louis Vuitton da donna su Vestiaire Collective e approfitta dei prezzi d'occasione. louis vuitton portafoglio


louis vuitton italia Borsa Louis Vuitton Monogram originale. 260 € Oggi, 09:10 ... Borsa pochette Louis Vuitton Eva originale ... Beauty case borsa porta tutto lv Louis Vuitton new. louis vuitton borsetta Cerchi una borsa Louis Vuitton? Su Kijiji trovi borse originali firmate louis vuitton outlet usate in vendita. Scegli il modello che più preferisci. louis vuitton portafoglio Borse Louis Vuitton Valutati Disponibili sul Collector Square: Speedy, Keepall, Neverfull... Spedizione in 24 ore. Visibili presso lo Showroom. louis vuitton vendite


borse louis vuitton Negozio il miglior replica borse di Louis Vuitton,portafogli da outlet negozio on-line a prezzo scontato e di alta qualità. louis vuitton borse Tralasciando per il loro prezzo di vendita le nuove louis vuitton italia ammirate durante le sfilate della collezione primavera estate 2016, che per alcuni. louis vuitton italia Louis Vuitton Borse completo di bellezza, Borse Louis Vuitton Sito Ufficiale sicuramente vale la pena avere. Louis Vuitton Borse la scelta migliore. louis vuitton borsetta


louis vuitton borsetta Louis Vuitton Borse Outlet Online italia,Louis Vuitton Borse Outlet,Borsa Louis Vuitton Originale Outlet,Vendo Louis Vuitton Alma Pm In Monogram. borse louis vuitton Siete delle appassionate di louis vuitton borse? Abbiamo scelto per voi i modelli, con tracolla, più belli del momento. louis vuitton borsetta

louis vuitton outlet Amate le borse e le opere d'arte? Louis Vuitton ha realizzato una collezione che fa proprio al caso vostro in collaborazione con Jeff Koons. Scopri le nuove borse Louis Vuitton in collaborazione con Jeff Koons e capirai perché indossarne una sarà come portare un'opera d'arte. louis vuitton vendite Apollo allday monogram Eclipse per gli uomini in morbida Monogram Eclipse tela rivestita esterno è la perfetta tenuta-all borsa per portare Ti piacerebbe avere una Borsa Louis Vuitton? Scopri i modelli della nuova collezione louis vuitton uomo per l'autunno inverno 2016 2017. Guarda le Foto!

louis vuitton borsetta Multicolor e innovativa, la collezione borse primavera estate 2016 louis vuitton portafoglio è futuristica, l'espressione dell'era digitale! Guarda le Foto! Outlet del falso a piazza Vittorio: trovato magazzino di borse Louis Vuitton. Il blitz dei vigili urbani su ponte Sant'Angelo Ma molto probabilmente il giro d'affari delle borse false è considerevolmente più ... louis vuitton donna Uniti sono stati sequestrati 2 milioni di esemplari falsi di borse Louis Vuitton Vapure consideratocheaccanto allamerce ilmio cliente aveva affisso un cartello:BORSE AUTENTICHE LOUIS VUITTON, PERFETTAMENTE IMITATE.


Louis Vuitton Accessori Da Viaggio Borse Louis Vuitton Outlet In Italia,louis vuitton outlet online borse saldi italia sito. Il miglior negozio per acquistare a buon mercato prodotti louis vuitton online.
Louis Vuitton Borse A Spalla Louis Vuitton Outlet scopri perchè non c'è da fidarsi degli Outlet Louis Vuitton online.Oggetto del desiderio di ogni donna
Louis Vuitton Borse Fashion Show Scoprire lo stile classico recenti e borse,scarpe,accessori,gioielli per il vostro,la più alta qualità e prezzo ... Latest; Louis Vuitton; Hermes; Celine; Gucci.
Louis Vuitton Frizioni Browse the Louis Vuitton vintage for rare, exquisite pieces. Uncover vintage gems in classic and offbeat styles in the selection online at Farfetch.
Louis Vuitton Piccola Pelletteria
Louis Vuitton Portafogli
Louis Vuitton Softsided Bagagli
Louis Vuitton Top Handles
Louis Vuitton Totes
Louis Vuitton Accessori Da Viaggio
Louis Vuitton Borse
Louis Vuitton Borse Da Viaggio
Louis Vuitton Borse Messenger
Louis Vuitton Portafogli Trova usato louis vuitton borse in vendita tra una vasta selezione di Abbigliamento e accessori su eBay. Subito a casa, in tutta sicurezza.
Louis Vuitton Totes Louis Vuitton Milano,Louis Vuitton outlet online Milano vendita Louis Vuitton borse,cinture,occhiali,scarpe, Louis Vuitton prezzi, con 67% di sconto!

12.07.17 : Michaelfania

wh0cd626788 acyclovir

01.03.17 : Waynesnoto

MAVRO
Новый проект
Новая криптовалюта
Рост от 20 до 50 процентов в месяц!
Реферальная программа 14 уровней
mavro.ga


mavro.ga, mavro, mavro отзывы, mavro криптовалюта, mavro mmgp, mavro coin, mavro курс, мавроди mavro, mavro кран, mavro майнинг, новая криптовалюта mavro, mavro mining, mavro криптовалюта отзывы, валюта mavro, mavro coin курс, сколько монет в найденном блоке mavro

18.01.17 : Francisdiamb

Hi, interesting website here. I have been reading here for quite a while, but now I just registered to say hi.

Perhaps you want to check out my stain removal website, I would appreciate your visit.

Francis


Wachsflecken

18.05.07 : Flight Director Bottomley

Dear Linsee,

You will be the first candidate we\'ll consider once we get ready for a manned mission to Mars.
For the time being, we shall stick to our trusted robots.
By the way, please don\'t mention Uranus to Professor Colander, he has other things to attend to, like colonizing Mars, and Uranus is one thing that really throws him off the rails. He needs at least twelve pints of real ale to calm him down, tax payers money that is.

Yours,

Barnaby Bottomley

16.05.07 : Linsee Doil

Dear Professor Colander,

I wrote a Haiku, will it get me onto your space program? I want to visit Mars and I wouldn't mind a quick peek at Uranus while I'm there.

Give me a job dude;
My flying skills are da bomb;
I know where you live.

Thanks,

Mr Linsee Doil

04.05.07 : Bumflap McCrapper

Re: Ask the professor

Dear Reginald Spoot,
What a futile question? Can\'t we concentrate on Uranus?

BM

Add your comment




Enter this code in the text box above
Explore Control Room
SUPPORT MARSIPAN Buy Exclusive Martiandise HERE T-shirts, gifts, bags
Marsipan Favourites

MARSIPAN PRESS

Raw Nerve

Dirty Blondes

4 o'clock network